Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
