WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
