Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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