hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So apparently I’m into choking now
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize