How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
As shirtless as possible
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
