I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
