No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Come on in and take your pants off
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