I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
