Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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