miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
