Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
