Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
