her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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