i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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