I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
