You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
