yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
