drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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