I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
