I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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