So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize