Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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