i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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