You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
