i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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