Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
