I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
