Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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