Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
