I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
