cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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