I love black thongs
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
