Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
