Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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