2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
