I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
