come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
