I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize