Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
