her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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