Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
