Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
