When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
