I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
