Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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