My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
