Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
