my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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