I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
