woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize