redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
