i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
