okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
