i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's get the cat blown out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
