I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
